Competition

I recently read an article highlighting the advantages of teaching kids that competition is a fact of life.  When we continually reward children based on the fact that they participated, we eliminate having a healthy desire to try harder, practice more, and train smarter in whatever the task is that they are trying to achieve. When 'everyone wins' there is a feeling of entitlement that breeds poor self-esteem.  I partly believed this theory, but I mostly have parented different.
I would say that I am competitive, but more on the side of highly self motivated.  In school I played basketball and could out run any player, but the game was about strategy, not speed, it was not a fit for me.  I also played soccer which again I was very fast, but in terms of defense I would just run and plow. When I started running track, I  felt responsible for my own destiny, it was a fast fit.  Though you are always competing against others you mostly compete against yourself, in other words, track more completely polished my self motivation. My senior year I was pole vaulting three to four feet higher than most of my competition, but it did not matter, I was going for the state record.  I could not tell you any of my competitors names or even heights in high school or college. As I have grown older I have realized that I am not competitive at all.  I am just extremely self motivated   I don't do things because I want to beat someone, I do them because I want to do it.
My kids are now at the age that they have had the opportunity to compete, whether it by horse back riding, running races, competing in a duathlon, or playing sport games.  Recently, Autumn and Bruce participated in a horse show.  They won many ribbons and had a great time.  I was very proud of them for trying and putting  forth the effort to practice months beforehand.  Then a few months ago they ran in a duathlon.  We trained for it by riding our bikes everyday and running down the dirt road.  We even had a number of trial runs were the kids would run out 1/3 of mile then come back and grab their bikes for a 2 mile ride and then we would run out a 1/4 of mile to finish off.  When race day came, they did great!  They tried their best and won a ribbon for competing.   I am very happy with how hard they worked to prepare to accomplish these things.
Well, after finishing the competitions the kids have both asked about their competition.  Autumn asked about the 'big girl with the pretty shirt'.  She wanted to know what place she got and was insist that she practice more so she could be like her.  Bruce noticed that his cousin who is three rode his bike without any training wheels in the race.  Almost daily Bruce would ask how his cousin rode without the training wheels.  Yesterday he asked if we could take off his.  In a determined mindset he knew that he could ride like his cousin, so he could do better in 'the race'.  Bruce jumped on the bike and I held on the back so that I could walk along as he learned to balance.  Before I knew it Bruce took off, riding all on his own.  Afterwards, he mentioned how fast he was getting compared to a first grade friend.
I think both of my children have found their own desire to compete without me even helping to develop a healthy since of winning and losing.  I am determined to do better, but you live you learn.  And mostly I have learned that my kids have so much potential beyond my expertise!